The Making and Giving of Unique (and Priceless) Artistic Gifts
When I was in school, I would spend a lot of time selecting birthday gifts for friends. I remember two particular instances when the experience was most joyful. These were not occasions of my gifting a book or something else bought from a shop but my offering unique unrepeatable creations of my own. One was a poem with aabb rhyme scheme with ten-plus stanzas (dedicated to the recipient), the other a large ornamented greeting card made out of my old denim shorts (that also represented the recipient’s personality). The reactions that my friends gave are still vivid in my mind. They were almost shocked that somebody would put so much effort to construct something only for them. As a giver too, I felt rewarded in a very special way.
It is interesting to note that gift-giving, which is such an important aspect of our lives, is one of the oldest human activities, originating in Africa with the emergence of early Homo sapiens roughly 200,000 years ago. Archaeological evidence and anthropological research suggest that prehistoric gifting served as vital “social glue” to build trust and ensure pack survival. Because prehistoric humans could not mass-produce items, their gifts required significant time and thought to prepare. Common items exchanged included: adornments (polished teeth, shells, animal hides and decorated bones), survival items (firestone, carved stones, unique tree barks and specialised hunting tools) and nutritional and medicinal resources (high-value foods and plants). Gifts were offered “horizontally” (among equals) to foster cohesion within nomadic clans, “vertically” (with leaders) to secure protection from authority, and “inter-group” (between tribes) for conflict resolution.
The basic science behind gifting is easy to understand. Evidence from brain imaging tells us that both giving and receiving gifts activate areas of our brain associated with reward, pleasure, bonding and trust. This profound social ritual drives the release of “feel-good” neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. The receiver experiences a dopamine hit because the brain is hardwired to respond to a new object. (As hunter-gatherers we developed curiosity as we needed to assess whether an item was useful or harmful for survival.) The giver experiences a dopamine hit as they exercise empathy in gift selection and eagerly anticipate the receiver’s reaction. (A related concept is the “helper’s high”, the physiological and psychological state of euphoria or deep satisfaction experienced after performing selfless acts as they raise one’s own sense of esteem.)
Both receiver and giver experience a rush of oxytocin because the act strengthens their social bond. Gifting creates a cycle of reciprocity, which is generally healthy. Sociological research notes that gifts create an emotional “debt-balance”. Returning a gift of roughly equal value prevents feelings of being undervalued or embarrassed, which drives the continuous cycle of gift-giving in culture. Misaligned gifts or overly extravagant items, however, can sometimes cause unintended indebtedness or awkwardness. Giving a gift that is overly lavish or expensive can backfire. Instead of signalling pure generosity, it can be interpreted as subtle manipulation, causing the recipient to feel burdened.
How do people usually choose gifts today? If you search online, you will encounter the “four gift rule”, a popular, budget-friendly holiday and birthday strategy designed to prevent overconsumption and clutter. It restricts presents to four distinct categories: something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.
Something they want is the “fun” gift. This is typically the main item on their wishlist, a cool gadget, or a hobby-related item they have been eyeing. Something they need is the practical gift. A useful item that enhances their daily life or supports their extracurriculars (e.g., a new backpack, upgraded bedding or a kitchen tool). Something to wear is the clothing or accessory gift. This can range from functional items like a new winter coat to fun, cosy items like quirky socks or pyjamas. Something to read is the educational or entertainment gift. This includes books, magazines or a reading subscription tailored to their interests and reading level. I find the above a helpful starting point.
Next, how to make the gift uniquely reflective of your knowledge of the recipient? How to turn it into an antique piece that they would never dispose of or resell or donate or forget? We need not present an extraordinarily expensive gift (which may generate feelings of discomfort) but we can try to offer a “priceless” one instead—beyond monetary worth altogether. We can do it by choosing one of the four types of gifts and then adding an artistic element to it—either ourselves or by engaging somebody with a suitable creative skill. With the poem and the greeting card, I essentially gave my friends “something to read”, it just became invaluable because I wrote the words and I embellished the denim shorts.
The act of blending can look like this: your recipient loves coffee, and also world travel. Her name is Sarah. Instead of buying a readymade mug, you get a plain mug (“something they need”) customised with tiny imagery specifically relevant to your recipient (landmarks from the places they’ve already visited, want to visit, travel documents like passports and boarding passes, adventure gear like compasses and sunglasses). Or let’s say your recipient loves philosophy, and also interior design. You find ways to inscribe philosophical quotes or portraits of philosophers they like on home décor items, bedsheets, table cloths, cushions, etc. There are several businesses available online that provide such services at reasonable rates. Also, several emerging artists may be willing to do commissions for gifts. So much artistic potential remains untapped in this area! We rarely think of approaching creative people when we are putting together gifts for those who matter to us.
Another example: your recipient has a busy and stressful career. You carefully assemble objects that can keep track of their mental and physical health, a sleep monitoring device, a blood pressure watch, supplements, a gratitude journal, fragrances, anxiety relief toys, and more. You arrange it all it a box and add an expertly calligraphed note wishing their well-being. Here, the thoughtful personalised selection of items in the kit, albeit mass-produced, with the overall package colourfully wrapped and decorated will be an artistic act itself and make a tremendous impact on the recipient.
Many more such concepts may emerge if the giver closely observes the intended recipient (noting their needs and interests) and browses the profiles of artists/artisans online, especially on platforms like Etsy, linking the two where appropriate.
Written by Tulika Bahadur
